sexTALKS – Exceptional Sex Work

SexTALKS - Exceptional Sex Work

While our politicians are debating whether prostitution should exist or not, at sexTALKS we like to skip that discussion and shine a light on forms of sex work you have never heard of.

Three speakers will talk about the types of sex work that are not so common, widely known or accepted.

Due to the COVID19 situation there is limited space at the TenClub. Get your tickets before it’s sold out!

This edition features:

  • Sexual desires and being disabled – by Brenda

It may take some improvisation, but sex in a wheelchair can be great fun! People with special needs have their wishes just like everyone else, and so there are specialized sexworkers. Brenda knows all about it and will share why she is so passionate about her work. 

  • When does sexwork become healing? – by Melissa 

In a world where the abuse of power is no surprise, it is more important than ever to learn how to transmute pain & power into healing & liberation. Melissa chooses to solely work with femme-identifying folks & couples in a therapeutic context with bdsm & sexuality. She uses her sex work sessions to support women in their healing – to create positive blueprints of dominance and submission, so that they can have more risks aware, informed experiences for themselves moving forward.

  •  Porn outside the mainstream – by Bear Silver
Most sex workers in the porn industry are cis-gendered, super fit, well-endowed and often pimped with fillers or plastic surgery. Very few operate in more feminised porn where the non-conventional body is portrayed. Bear is part of Porn Cakes Collective and one of those exceptional porn stars.

About the speakers:

  • Brenda is a former nurse turned sexworker because she believes being in a wheelchair or living in a psychiatric hospital are reasons to miss out on intimacy and sex. She wants to make a difference for those less privileged and finds purpose in her job.
  • Melissa Tofton (she/they) is an Empowerment Mentor & Erotic Leadership Coach. “My work is the integration of my experience crossing a rich tapestry of different, intersectional terrains – having been a queer performance artist, sex worker, tantric dominatrix & empowerment coach. It is my mission to guide those I work with through those terrains and back to themselves; into deep communion with their wild truth; and alchemists of their internal shadow. I offer individual 1-1 & couple’s sessions along with facilitating transformative group processes in the form of group online mentorships, workshops & events.”
  • Bear Silver is an activist, educator and performer. Whether guiding visitors through Amsterdam’s queer history, organizing a demo against anti-sex work laws, or leading a BDSM workshop, Bear stays busy with various aspects of sexuality. Originally ffom California, he started doing sex work in the mid-90’s, first as a phone sex operator and later as a professional dominatrix. He began making queer porn in 2016 because he got tired of always seeing the same kinds of bodies portrayed on the screen, and realized that the best way to make non-conventional bodies more visible was to get in front of the camera. He now makes films with the Amsterdam-based PornCakes Collective.


Program (GMT+2.00):

19:00 Doors TenClub open

19:30 ZOOM open

20:30 Discussion/questions

20:45 Talk II: to be annouced

21:15 Discussion/questions

21:30 Break/ Zoom Q&A with first three speakers

21:45 Talk III: to be annouced

22:15 Discussion/questions

22:30 End


Image by Iris Lam